Freed's daring do's!
by Thelonehound
Summary: Freed the dark, named not for his demons but his childhood pranking. He stopped when his great leader Laxus formed a team with him. However he wants to get back into the pranking game, all guns blazing. (Basically dare freed to do random stuff)
1. Intro

Freed's daring dos!

Freed Justine, formerly known as Freed the Dark, was once as master of pranking. However after five years lacking of any pranks has taken its toll on his ideas, meaning he has none. So he's asking you for help.

Simply put your ideas for dares to do in the loverly comment/review section and hopefully he'll get to your dare; which I will write about on his behalf. How it will turn out depends on what happens during the dare (or if you state it in the review). It could end up well with freed making a swift getaway unnoticed by all, however it could end up badly with someone finding him and making a punishment for him.

So leave your dares in the reviews and I'll try and get freed to do them for you (unless the ask box gets too full). I'm so looking forward to reading what you want the loverly Freed to do.

TheLoneHound


	2. Food fight in the guild FlyingDoll14

**A food fight in the guild - For FlyingDoll14**

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Freed smirked, looking over at the two tables which were covered by a myriad of parties, pies, cakes, buns and other such sweets. He and Mirajane, who was fully aware and more than happy to help with what was about to happen, had spent literal days in making all of the food.

Master Makarov, also involved in the prank which Freed had suggested, had called all the guild members who weren't on missions to the guildhall for a 'festival' the had named 'the international day of cakes'. They were all waiting out side the large, locked wooden doors; all blissfully unaware of what they were walking into.

Freed set up the runes around the second table which stated that whenever a plate was empty a copy of the food that was on it. "So should we let them in?" Mirajane asks, a similar smirk to the one Freed donned.

"We shall, but we're all aware of the plan. You two act casually throughout what's happening as I can escape with a teleportation spell; though do try to avoid getting hit were possible." He looked over at Mirrajane, who smiled guiltily for a reason only know to the two demons. "Now, Natsu will inevitably rush to one of the tables first. I will talk to him for a short while then, in some manner, put the food that he's around on his face. I shall claim that Gray dared me to do it, hopefully starting a food fight between the two of them."

"Ok, then you want me to get Erza to the cheesecake area so she's distracted. What did you want me to do with Lucy?" mirajane asks. "And can we make sure Erza gets hit by something as well?"

"I wish for you to get Lucy behind Natsu so when Gray throws something at him, which will happen, I can grab Natsu and pull him down to 'protect' him, the aftermath of that being Lucy getting hit. In that team a fight will definitely follow." Freed chuckled. "As for Erza. Well, you see all the balloons that are attached to the roof; all of them are filled with either custard of chocolate sauce. I've placed some pins on the bar, simply throw them at the ballon above her and it will pop, its content falling on her."

"Great. Let's let them in." Mirajane happily walks to the doors and opens them, stepping back to stop herself from being trampled by a stampede of hungry and powerful mage's. As predicted, Natsu runs to the table on the left, where the cream and custard pies were located.

Freed walked beside him and spoke. "You know, Natsu, I did take your taste of spice into account. I've created a spiced version of each sweet for you. Would you like to see one?" Freed lied smoothly, being a tactician he was good at thinking on his feet.

"Yeah sure." Natus enthused, making freed chuckle. The rune Mage picks up a pie at random, however it did have red dust spiralled over it which did look slightly like chilli powder. He put it in front of natsu's face as if to present it. "Do I get a fork or somethin'?"

"No need to be so polite, Natsu. Just eat it. Here, let he help you." He raised the pie and gently shoved it into the dragon slayers face, rubbing it over his head as if it were a normal thing to do. He let the foil plate drop to the floor, and saw the thick whipped cream covered face of Natsu, "I'm so sorry. He murmured, "Gray dared me to and its agains the rules to disobey. You can, however, retaliate. Throw one back at him."

Natsu angrily flicked the cream from his eyes and glared at Gray, who just happened to glance over at that exact time. The ice mage burst into a fit of laughter, causing people to look at him, and in turn then look at Natsu and laugh with him. "Freed, that was amazing!" Gray choked out.

With an annoyed and slightly embarrassed look on his face, Natsu picked up the same pie, which had returned to its original state thanks to Freed's runes, and threw it at Gray with some strength. It hit the ice mage dead in the face, however didn't have the same affect as it did on Natsu. When the foil plate fell to the ground some cream remained on his face.

"Oh that's it, charcoal breath." As Gray picked up a large jam tart freed looked behind him to see Lucy, looking worried. _Prefect. _As the tart became airborne the rune Mage grabbed natsu's shoulder snd pulled him down. The result worked as planned, the tart hitting Lucy square in the face. "Oh shit." Gray murmured as Lucy jam covered face was now revealed.

Freed got up from off the floor and casually walked to the bar, where Mira was watching with mild amusement. She looked at freed as he leant on the bar. "Well that went remarkably well." She commented. "Your having better luck than me. I can't hit the stupid ballon with these pins." The barmaid complained.

"Here." Freed picked up a pin and threw it at the balloon above the feared mage's head, popping it.

"How the hell did you do that so easily?" Mirajane gawped. Before freed could explain, though, a dark aura came from where Erza sat, her hair and face covered with a sticky chocolate sauce. She looked around to see her three teammates also covered in food, Natsu holding a cake to Gray's face. She out two and two together and figured that they were responsible.

Silently, Erza picked up two cheesecakes that were inferior due to their lack of strawberries and threw them at Natsu and Gray. The picked up another two, one hitting Lucy, the other flying out of her hand slightly too early and eventually hitting elfman on the top of his head, his hair being covered by the creamy topping.

"THAT WAS NOT MANLY!" He exclaimed, picking up a large cupcake. When he goes to throw it at Erza, he slips on some cream that had fallen to the floor curtesy of the rune Mage. The flying treat flew towards Gajeel it would have hit him on the chest, that is unless Levy wasn't beside him to be used as a human cake sheild.

With red frosting covering her face, levy turned to face Gajeel slowly and threateningly. "Oh shit, gihi." Levy picked up the largest custard filled pie she could and did something nobody expected. She grabbed the wasteland of gajeels trousers and pulled it out. She funnelled all the custard in the crust down and snapped it back, slamming the now empty crust on his chest. Gajeel in turn let out a whine as the cold liquid flowed down his lower region.

"Did you notice how levy didn't even blink at looking down into gajeel's crotch. I think you may be correct in assuming that the two of them have a sexual relationship, Mirajane." Freed, comments, still at the bar. Apparently though, Levy had heard what he said and it had struck a cord with her.

"Hey freed!" She shouted, making the rune Mage look over to her. "Catch." Levy threw another custard pie, this time aiming for freed himself. However, freed prided himself on having quick reaction times so he easily dodged the airborne sweet.

"Freed Justine." Was said slowly from behind him. When he turned he saw Mirajane standing there, her face covered with custard. "I'm going to kill you."

"I am so sorry Mirajane." Freed stutters, "um, would you like me to clean you or something?" Freed looked around for a napkin of some kind, then realises that they hid all the things they could clean them self with.

"If you want to make it up to me, freed, then look up." Freed slowly looked up to see one of the balloons looking over his head. From the corner of his eye he see Mirajane throw a pin to the balloon, meaning he's soon be covered in whatever liquid was inside of it. He closed his eyes in anticipation.

The cool feeling of a balloon full of custard hits him over the face, flowing down his body. He shivers as a small trail falls down his shirt, the cold going down the front of his torso. "Delightful." He murmurs, shaking his head and scooping the custard from his eyes, which he flicks at the door.

"Bickslow. Don't you dare!" The shrill voice of evergreen cuts through the guild. Freed and evergreen turn to see that Bickslow was holding a large bowl of trifle in his hand, slowly advancing on the fairy mage. He brought the bowl back and threw it in the air. Evergreen ducked to try and avoid it, but unfortunately the figure of Laxus Dreyar was behind her, meaning he got the trifle all over his body.

"You two are so dead." He growls, grabbing both their hands and dragging them towards the table. He then moved his hands to the back of both of their heads and shoving them into the cakes. "Do you like them. Freed's the only one of you who can keep clean.

Laxus looked over to the rune Mage, who smiles at him despite the custard falling into his lap. "Really, freed. I thought you were better than this." He then looked at the guilty smile on his teammates face. "Freed, you didn't plan this, did you?"

"Why on earth would I do all this, what would be the point?" Freed smugly says, not trying to hide the fact he's guilty of the dragon slayers accusation. "It's against the rules, after all."

"Your an insane loon. That's a reason why you'd do this." He says, glaring at the rune user. "You did didn't you, you fucking bastard."

Freed casually walked over to the table of pies and picked out the thickest and creamiest one he could find. He walked over the Laxus again and spoke pleasantly. "Freed the Dark is returning, so you better look out." Then he gently creates contact between the pie and laxus' face.

When Laxus angrily wipes the pie of his face, freed was turning his body into runes to teleport away. "Freed you bastard." Laxus growls, then looks around the room to see the guild had started an all out war of food. "Freed, you ducking bastard." He chuckles this time.

"Hey Laxus." Bickslow and evergreen chime from behind him. When he turns two pies are slammed either side of his head, then chocolate sauce pours over his head curtesy of a popped balloon over his head.

"well." Laxus sighs. "Freed's back, we were all screwed."

**Hello, everyone. So, I'm fairly happy with how this turned out considering how I've never written anything like this before and I had no idea how it would turn out in the end. So, if you have any dares for freed to do, no matter how big or small, just leave a review and I'll try to write it.**


	3. Itching powder for anon

**The itching power Raijinshuu - For 'Anonymous'**

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With a slightly mean glint in his eye, Freed looked down at the glass container that was no larger than the average shot glass. He had the perfect plan and the perfect way to exercise it, and it centred around the condense of the little pot. Itching powder.

Freed's targets were his three teammates: Evergeen, Bickslow and of corse his beloved master Laxus. He had the perfect way to deploy it. As he had taken the mother figure of the group he was tasked with washing, drying and ironing his teams outfits; they insisted only wearing the same clothes every day. That meant he could easily put the powder in their clothes.

The itching power was one of freed's own blend, he'd made in many times in his teen years and the recipe stuck with him. The combinations of magic potions and pencil shavings created a fine powder that caused itching and irritation in the skin. What was special about it was that it stuck to the fabric of any clothes and caused the same irritation as if applied directly on the skin.

He had ideas for all his three teammates. Evergreen hadn't been all that annoying of late, so her punishment wasn't all that bad. She would have a small amount applied to her lower back, so it was difficult but possible to scratch.

Laxus had been grumpy and irritable ever since the little incident of a food fight, but his angry temper had been better than normal so his punishment would be bad, but not evil. He had a light amount of the powder over his chest and a large amount over his lower right leg.

Bickslow had been, for lack of a better phrase, a complete and utter twat of late. Ever since the food fight that freed had started, he'd been trying to partner with the rune Mage and create the, what he called, 'awesome tea, of super prankers.' His obsession with this had caused the rune Mage a lot of annoyance. Bickslow's punishment was a large amount on the chest and a massively large amount of the crotch on his boxers.

Freed chuckled, the image of the annoying, baby obsessed, man child relentless scratching his crotch to no evil was an amusing, a slightly erotic, one. Upon recollection, Freed realised that his idea of humour may have been slightly psychotic; but that suited him fine.

When he applied the powder to his friends clothing he happily hummed a tune, as of the thing he was doing was completely normal. He rubbed the large pile of golden powder into the crotch of Bickslow's flamboyant and eyewatering tight boxers Bickslow insisted on wearing.

Still humming a random and happy sounding song and he placed the clothes in the basket he owned, clićhe yellow rubber cloves on hands for his own protection. He teleported to the outside of Laxus's apartment and knocked on the door.

When Laxus opened the door freed smiled politely. "I've got your clothes." He said, picking up the cloves from the basket and walking into the man's apartment as Laxus stepped away from the door. He walked to the wardrobe and placed the clothes on hangers.

"What's with the gloves?" Laxus asked, nodding the the man's hands.

"Oh, I was washing some plates and remembered you needed your clothes. That's why there so late. Sorry about that, by the way." Freed flippantly pushed off his friend and leader's comment with a smooth and easily believable lie. "Shouldn't you be getting to sleep, Laxus. It's getting late." Freed adopted his motherly tone.

"Freed, it's eight thirty in the evening." He rhetorically states, looking down at the rune Mage.

"Is it? I'm sorry, Laxus. I must be leaving now, goodbye." And with that freed dissolved into runes and away from Laxus, who stares at where he stood.

**\_/|I~~Time Skip~~I|\_/**

Freed sat at the table of the raijinshuu, patiently waiting for his team to arrive. He smirked to himself from behind the book, it would most definitely be amusing; Bickslow more than any others.

Evergreen walked in first, strutting towards the table and scratching her lower back once. Freed regarded her with a small grunt, not wanting to seem suspicious. "How are you today?" He asked, placing the bookmark between two pages and leaving the Nobel on the table.

"I'm fine, I suppose. Although, my back is slightly itchy." She complained, scratching. "It's very annoying."

"Maybe it's because of the activities you and elfman get up to in the later hours. Scratching in one area can cause a rash to occur. They seem to be itchy."

"How do you know about- Freed Justine what did you do to me?" Evergreen, for all her problems, was quick minded and smart.

"I have no idea what you mean."

"You've recently got back into your pranking ways and suddenly I'm itchy and you're being smug. What did you do to me?"

"Oh, I may have accidentally spilt some itching powder on your clothing." He got glared at. "Or on purpose."

"Freed!"

"I can get rid of it." Freed chuckled. He then clocked his fingers, making the itching sensation go away. "Better?"

"Better." Evergreen mumbled. "It better not be only me who you've done this to."

"Don't worry, Bickslow and Laxus have also suffered the same fait, though worse than yours. I think that you shall found bickslow rather comical today."

Minuets later Laxus walked in and to their table, placing his leg upon it. He pulled the leg of his leather trousers up and scratched his leg. "Is everything alright, Laxus?" Evergreen asked with a snicker.

"My leg is fuckin' annoyin'. Won't stop damn itchin and it's killing me dammit." Laxus growled, scraping his fingernails up and down his large, muscular legs. "Fuck off you stupid itch." He shouted.

"Laxus, with all due respect, an itch on your leg can't hear you." Freed commented, earning a glare. "Do you know how this may have happened. You are wearing the clothes I cleaned for you yesterday, because if your not then they sweat from out training may be causing friction."

"Yeah _mom_." Laxus growled. "I always fucking change, it's disgusting not to."

"I forgot about your obsession with cleanliness. I suppose that's why you got so agitated over my little food fight." Freed chuckled.

"You itched me, didn't you?" Laxus growled, still scratching. "You itched my clothes, that why you left so fast."

"I didn't itch you, laxus, and not only because that's in proper word use. I did, however, accidental spill itching powder over the leg of your clothing and rub it in."

"I forgot how much of a bastard you were as a kid." Laxus growled. "How come he didn't get you?" He talked to evergreen.

"He did, but then took it away." Evergreen sniggered

"Then take mine away, for fucks sake." Laxus had scratched his leg so much that it had stated to go red.

"Ok, but your going to need to stop scratching." Laxus did as was told, albeit with a glare. Freed took this opportunity to feel his gods leg, acting as if it was necessary. He then took the itch away. "You should count yourself lucky, bickslow bared the brunt of my anger."

Laxus glanced at evergreen, who shrugged. Freed picked up his book free looking at his teammates. "I shall put it like this; to do my prank on you two I needed half of the powder, however the rest was used on bickslow in a strategic place."

Before they could ask about the 'strategic place' freed had spoke of, bickslow ran into the guild and to their table looking annoyed and angry. As soon as he sat down, bickslow' selfs spread wide and he was shamelessly rang his fingers over his crotch.

Laxus and evergreen stared at their friend for a moment before simultaneously looking to freed with dropped jaws. He smiled back. "Bickslow, is everything all right. You seem to be rather intent of scratching away the hope of having your own kids."

"It's my balls, baby." Bickslow said is a whiny voice. "They itch so fucking much. It's killing me. I wanna cut them off."

"Ah, oh dear." Freed said. "While washing your underwear I used a new type of fabric softener. It may be possible you have an allergy to it which is causing your problem. Well, I can assure you that I won't be using it again."

"Right now, I don't care. Laxus, baby, put them muscles you use and rip my balls of." He got a 'NO' on return. "Freed, you've got a sword. Help dammit."

"Bickslow, I'm not going to cut of your testicles. Now, what I recommend is that you stop scratching for as long as you can." Freed suggested. Bickslow looked at him with a pained expression. "You shall be fine."

Bickslow slowly moved his hands away, his eye twitching immediately. He lasted about thirty seconds before scratching his 'AREA OF MAN' as elfman had dubbed it when informing the guild of what Bickslow was doing.

"Freed, what they hell was the stuff you used." Bickslow asked while looking at his itching balls.

"I believe it was called 'homemade itching powder'. Oh, actually, when I think about it it was an idiotic thing to put where your dick and balls will lay." Freed laughed to himself. "I'll get rid of it." Freed clicked his fingers again.

"You, you did this to me?" Bickslow growled, a tone that not many had heard. "Babies, go for the nuts." Bickslow'so wooden tiki dolls each raised into the air, looking around freed threateningly. "Two babies for two nuts. But which two?"

Freed knew he couldn't get out of what would happen, so closed his eyes and waited for the pain. Soon it came, a wooden tiki slammed itself into Freed crotch making him groan loudly. Soon the other came, making freed caught slightly and whimper.

"Fair enough. I'll lay off you three for a bit." Freed murmured, making all three nod. "My balls."

**Hello, dear readers. So, as freed said, his punishments from Laxus Bickslow and evergreen are getting a bit bad so he'd like to go and target some other members of the guild. Possibly, a dragon slayer who wants to fight anyone. But, I'll do it anyway whoever it is.**


	4. Asking Lucy out for Anon

**Asking Lucy out with Bickslow - For 'Anonymous'**

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Freed watches as his teammate Bickslow lifted his visor up and made direct eye contact with Lucy heartfillia; who's attention had been gained by a beer mug being thrown just to the left of her head from Freed himself. Lucy was soon under Bickslow's control, though he stayed hidden in her soul so he could preform what Freed had told him to later.

After five consecutive hours of annoyance and pestering from Bickslow, freed finally gave in and allowed Bickslow to help him in his prank. Today he was going to ask Lucy, a girl who had been named 'eye candy' by most of the male guild members, in a date in front of her overprotective teammates.

This dare is one he liked to call a suicide mission, as it was most likely he'd be hurt or threatened in some way, and it would only really negatively affect him. But still, that just added to the fun of it.

For about ten minuets, give or take a few, with Bickslow hiding in Lucy's soul, until freed though it had been enough time for him to make his approach. He finished his scotch, placing the small glass on the table and stood up.

He walked over to the table were Lucy stood; Natsu and Gray were fighting; and Erza was happily eating cake so didn't bother to stop the fight. Lucy looked over at Freed, who saw here eyes flash so Freed knew Bickslow was now in control.

"Hello miss Lucy." Freed put on the act he was commonly thought to speak with; curious, polite and gentlemanly. "I wish to speak with you, unless you have an opposition to it.

"Um, no. You can, though what about?" Bickslow forced Lucy to say against her will, though it sounded natural and normal.

"Well, I shall not waste time when saying this." Freed took a side glance to see Nastu and Gray had stopped fighting and we're watching with curiosity. "I find you to be a kind and beautiful woman and I wish to ask you to accompany me on a date." Erza's fork fell to the floor, as did Gray and Natsu's jaw.

'Lucy' put on a shocked face, coupled with a deep blush. "Well, I can't say I haven't noticed your looks as well." She mumbled, "and you do seem to be a nice man. I'm not sure though." She looked dos slightly.

Natsu, Gray and Erza all sighed for different reasons. Erza saw Licy as a sister who needed protection from any man. Gray had bet cana that Freed would end up with Laxus or Bickslow, so he still had a chance at winning. Natsu, well Natsu didn't know why he was relieved at her answer, just that he was.

"I understand your trepidation completely, however I feel the need to tell you that this is just a date; if you enjoy it then we can go on another, if you don't then I shall stop pursuing my interest in you immediately." Freed informed. "If you would like i can tell you what I have planned."

"Well I suppose it can't hurt." Three sharp intakes of breath.

"Thank you. Firstly, I shall take you to a small hill near my home where we shall dine on food of my own making, then as it shall be the evening we could look at the stars, possibly talking about constellations if you wish to. Then I plan to take you to a lake that is always frozen solid at this time of year, so we can ice skate, then to a local café for a drink of some kind."

Gray and Erza looked at each other. They both knew Lucy well and knew that Freed had planned a good date for any girl, but Lucy would love this more than most. She'd always enjoyed home made food, constellations were connected to her magic, she'd always wanted to go ice skating but never could, and she loved getting hot chocolate, a drink available in practically all cafes at this time of year.

"Well, that does sound like a very nice time. And you did say if I didn't have a good time then we wouldn't have to go on any other dates. I suppose I could." Lucy blushed lightly as her teammates started at her, then Freed, then her again.

"Fantastic." Freed showed fake enthusiasm. "Do you have a day you wish to go on this date; having it today is a bit sudden."

"How about in two days time, I'm free then." Lucy smiled. "Oh gosh, I've got to go home. I'll see you later guys." Lucy rushes off towards her home, leaving Freed with the three overprotective friends of the girl she had just asked out.

He was soon pinned against the table, receiving three nasty glares off three powerful and angry mage's. He simply smiled up at them. "Is there a problem?" He said in an all too pleasant voice.

"You hurt her." Natsu growled a girly and evilly.

"We hurt you." Gray and Erza spoke simultaneously, their tones equally evil to the one Natsu spoke in. "Understand?" Erza asked.

"Perfectly." Freed showed no sing of fear, just smiled at them as they let him go to his table.

When he got to the table of the raijinshuu he immediately noticed something. Whenever Bickslow took over somebody he was left in a slight dazed state, yet he was fine; grinning far too widely than usual.

"You bastard." Freed spat, realising he had just asked the girl in a date which she agreed to on her own. "You complete and utter bastard."

"Have fun on your date, Freed." His tone was overly happy and teasing. "You've got a lot of preparing to do, I'd start now."

Freed glared at him, his eye pulsating. "You are an evil bastardised Bickslow." Freed growled. "Now, because of you, I have a date to plan in two days with a girl who I've never had a full conversation with; so thank you." Freed stormed out of the guild.

"So." Laxus chuckled. "When you gonna tell Freed that Blondie knew it was a prank and acted along with it so you wouldn't get a massive headache?"

"After the date, should I tell Cosplayer about freed thinking it's real and make her do some crazy shit to freak him out?"

"Yes." Laxus and Evergreen spoke at the same time.

**So, this is a little shorter than my other's but I like how it ended up. Short A/N but don't have anything else to say really. Bye.**


	5. Bedding Lissanna for Courtney O'brien

**Bedding Lissanna - For Courtney O'brien**

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**(Just a little FYI A/N before I start. This does have sexual references and light lemon -Mainly freed masterbating and ballbusting- throughout it so read at your won risk)**

** "**Are you sure you're okay with this?" Freed asked, looking at Mirajane, who simply chuckles and removed her shirt and threw it to the floor, her modesty protected by bed covers she hid beneath.

"Yes, perfectly fine. I've wanted to prank my little sis for a while now, so it's fine." She laughed. "If it takes you being a massive dick to her and suggest she has a threesome with us then so be it." She looked up at freed. "You know, for this to work your going to have to be a bit more naked."

"I know that, but are you sure you want your sister to think we're in a sexual relationship?" Freed took off his coat and threw it to the floor, which made his eye twitch due to its lack of order.

"We could both do a lot worse, you know that. Now, come on Rune boy, strip off and show some skin." She laughed at the large blush on his face. "And stop with the red face, you need to ask my sister to sleep with you like a player, blushing won't help."

After many years of hiding emotion, freed could just stop his large blush. "Fine." He grumbled, undoing his white shirt so his muscular torso was shown, then throwing the clothing on the floor of Mirajanes dorm room.

"I like this dare." Mirajane smirked at Freed, who ignored her. He unbuckled his belt and slowly let his trousers fall to the ground, where they were kicked into a corner. "I really like this dare." She continued, her eyes fixated on the large and inviting mound that freed hid in his tightly packed black boxer shorts.

"Can you stop making comments, please." Freed asked, fighting his blush at the way the model was looking at his body like a tiger its pray. "Now, I have to become -you know..." Freed didn't want to say it. He may be brave in pranking, but he was a coward when it came to sexual activities, more so with women than men; they understood the worries of a man more than a woman did.

"Horny?" Mirajane helped, smiling. "Stop being so embarrassed with me, Freed. We're not actually going to have sex, you know. If it makes you feel comfortable you can go hide in the bathroom while you wank."

"Thank you." Freed mumbled, looking away ad a walking to the bathroom attached to the room.

"Hey freed, look over here for a second." When he did she lowered the cover and allowed him to see her bare breasts. "Thought it might help you." He said to the blushing twenty year old, who retreated to the bathroom. "Don't take too long, I need something to watch."

Freed sat in the bathroom, perched upon the closed toilet lid. The image of the models boobs still present in his mind he slipped his boxers off and grabbed his already semi hard penis, closing his eyes and stroking it. Mira's boobs and the erotic rush of what he was about to do made it so his length was at its throbbing eight inches, large balls hanging low.

He pulled his boxers back up, his penis pushed against his thigh and clearly visible because of the tightness of his underwear. With a deep intake of breath, he walked back into the room where Mirajane was ruffling her perfectly styled hair so it looked like freed's hands had been in it.

"Hey sexy." She said in an all too innocent voice. "Your a big boy, I always thought you would be." Freed blocked out her words.

"When did you tell her to get here?" He asked, kicking some discarded clothing away.

"She'll be here in about five minutes. What are you doing?" She looked at freed and he cleared a small part of her carpeted floor, then dropped to it.

"Well, sex involves a lot of movement on the males behalf, more so with me, so I need to be sweaty." Freed then began placed his hands on the floor and pushed, brining his torso up, then down, then up again; his pushups making his toned ass visible. "Besides, doing exercise in not much clothing makes me horny."

"You have an exercise fetish; elfman probably has one too. Maybe I should set you up with him, wait he's with evergreen. Actually, I've been meaning to ask this, are you gay or straight?"

"I don't have any preference to which gender I date, but I do find both genders sexually attractive." Freed said, the pushups making his body wet with sweat. "I suppose I'm Bi-sexual."

"So do you like Laxus then?" She asks.

"I do find him to be an attractive man, and I may have considered dating him if I wanted to be the submissive, of uke, of the relationship; but I don't and imagining Laxus willingly be dominated by someone like me is hard to do, so reality would be harder." Hes switched to doing pull-ups on Mirajane's bathroom doorframe; much to her joy as he was facing her and his legs spread.

"So is there anyone you like. I heard you went on a date with Lucy." She spoke with a mischievous voice.

"That was Bickslow's fault and you know it, what was worse was Lucy knew I thought it was a real date and was purposely being strange with me, she even robbed me of my shirt at one time." He groaned. "But as for me liking someone, that rufus fellow from Sabertooth has caught my interest, though the bad blood between our guilds makes any relationship we may have impossible."

"Oh freed, if you like him then go for it; you're both similar and fairy tail's forgiven people who've done worse; you and your team tried to kill us all and we forgave you. Plus, he's cute."

Before Freed, who was now drenched in sweat, could reply a knock came from the door. "Hello, Mira-nee; are you in there?" Lissana voice came through the door.

'You ready' Freed mouthed to Mirajane. She nodded and pointed to the door, telling freed open it and begin the dare.

Freed walked to the door, breathing manically due to his exorcise, his body covered in sweat, hair messy and dick hard and restrained by tight boxers. He opened it and leaned to the doorframe, chuckling when Lissanna gasped at his appearance.

"Hey Lis." He spoke in a sexy voice. "What brings your sexy ass here when I'm doin' your big sister."

"F-freed," was all she could stammer out before a muscular arm snuck around her waist and she was pressed against the sweaty broad chest. She could feel his hard member on her lower stomach.

"Is it that you heard what I can do in bed from your sister." He leaned down to her ear. "Perhaps you wanted me to kick her out of bed and throw you onto it while I fuck your pretty little brains out." He blew on her ear, then began to nibble it slightly.

"W-what are y-y-you doing." The poor girl was confused, where had the chivalrous man she knew gone and who was the man who was trying to seduce her.

"I'm a demon, Lissanna. It's my role in life to tell you what your most hidden and darkest desires are, then make you preform them. For you, the desire is me, my sweet young girl. Will you submit to me, it will be the most spectacularly euphoric sex you ever have had, or will have in your life." He brought her hand to his member. "Do you want to see what I can do with it."

Lissanna pushed away from freed and ran down the hallway of fairy-hills just as Erza was walking past. The redhead looked at Freed, then the scared girl who ran from him, then back to freed.

"She wasn't brave enough to see what I can do when I want to. Only a real woman like you can handle being bedded by me." He smirked, "shall we see what'll happen."

"No." Erza spoke flatly.

"Really, I'm shocked. Your old rival Mirajane could handle it with ease, I suppose she's just better than you in things such as this."

Erza stormed over to Freed, but instead of entering the bedroom she did something unexpected. She grabbed Freed's balls and squeezed them. Tight.

"Don't ever try to manipulate any women, or even man, into having sex with you, it's despicable. If you ever do I will find you and I will rip your pathetic little man nuggets off." She pulled down of Freed's nuts, making him squeal highly. Erza released his balls and stormed off, leaving him to fall to the floor in pain.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay." Mirajane rushed over, covered by a cardigan, and looked down at freed with a face full of concern.

"Why do you women always go for a mans jewels." He spoke in a strained voice. "It hurts so fucking much."

"Move your hands, I have to see if there okay." Freed, with a lot of fighting, moved his hands and allowed Mirajane to pull his underwear down carefully; thankfully she had closed the door. "Well they're both in one peice, she just made them a little red; probably her grip. No permanent damage I can see, but I can see it hurts."

After half an hour with a bag of ice of the hurt place, freed found he was able to get dressed and teleport home to sleep.

"Would you like me to talk to Erza and Lissanna, tell them you were dared to do it?" Mirajane asked to man, who slightly hobbled to the bed to spread his legs.

"Yes please, and tell them to come to my home tomorrow morning; I should apologise to them both but I may not make it to the guild." Freed ordered.

"Sure." Mirajane smiled, watching the man disappear. She walked out of her room and went to Erza's room. "Erza. Oepn up, I've got something to tell you."

**Hello, so yeah, that just happened. This is the first lemon like thing I've ever published so I don't know if it's good or not. Also, I'm sorry if it's not great, I can comfortably do Yaoi lemon, because I'm gay, but straight and Yuri are a little difficult because boobs are horrible. By the way, RufusXFreed is my main OTP and ErzaXFreed is my straight OTP, where Erza is dominant. And ballbusing is hot, so it might come back a few times.**


	6. Slapping Lucy for Momo

**Slapping Lucy - for Momo**

** \_/|I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I|\_/**

A simple dare for a tired day. For Freed, the week had been hell. Laxus had, as a form of ironic sadistic punishment, takes Freed on an S-class mission to a random city that seemed to be frozen and ravaged by all and every type of monster known to man. Long story short, Laxus was enjoying mug after mug of hot chocolate, quite smugly, while Freed was forced to fight large creates from the futures depts of hell. So this was what he needed, to slap an over-appreciated mage in the face.

The mage in question, who was obviously Lucy her description, was sitting at the bar while drinking a chocolate milkshake at the bar; what was it with blondes and chocolate beverages this week. Freed was almost sure that Lucy enjoyed strawberry milkshake; many rants about how she had to go out for more strawberries came from Mirajane when she was in a particularly bad mood.

Lucy's team were around, all but Erza who had gone on an S-class mission alone; Natsu Gray and Lucy had been banned from them even with erza when Lucy came back with a dislocated shoulder. Apparently the broken bones of the other three were also key factors in this. So Lucy sat by Gray and Natsu.

Freed walked to the bar and spoke to Mirajane. "A grasshopper please, Mirajane." He was casual with his usual order, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Gray and natsu roll their eyes at it; _snooty prick. _They were both still annoyed at his date with Lucy, as was Freed who's been humiliatedthrough it by a 'drunk' Lucy. This was the reason for his bitter remarks for the girl.

_ "_Oh, Lucy_. _About our date a week or so ago." Freed smiled as the girl turned slowly with a slight glare on her face, the rune Mage was going to do something but she didn't know what. "I forgot to give you something for it, idiotic of me so I'd like to rectify it."

Lucy looked around, for what she didn't know but since the new year it had become a rule that if Freed was acting weird around you you have to be scared. "And what would that be?" She spoke hesitantly, still glancing around slightly.

"Oh, it wasn't much just this." He raised his hand and swiftly brought it to the young girls face. "Oh, and this." He slapped the girl again. The sound that accompanied the action echoed through the the guild, making all look to see the red mark that appeared on Lucy's face.

"Bastard." Natsu growled, the barstool scraping as he stood up. "The hell you doin'? You ain't allowed to hurt Luce." His fists were soon on fire, soon being face to face with a grinning rune Mage. "You wanna hit someone, hit me."

"Well Natsu." Freed spoke with a teasing voice. "I had no idea that you're a masochist." Natsu's jaw dropped. "I can show you what I can do with my hand, an insolent boy like you could do with a good spanking to put you in your place."

"W-what the fuck?" Natsu just watched freed in shock. "I'm not a... Why d'ya think... What?"

"No need to be embarrassed about it; strong independent men such as yourself who haven't been disciplined as a child often enjoy thighs such as this. A dirty forbidden activity."

"Can you two stop flirting!" Lucy shouted. "He _did_ slap me!"

"Oh yeah." Natsu raised his fists again.

"Who hurt my princess?" The voice of Loke came through the puff of smoke that had appeared. "They must be punished." He continued.

"Punishment." Another flash of light followed by smoke, this time a maid with pink hair.

"Yes, Freed. Punish Freed." Lucy shouted. Now four mages, Gray had decided to join in as well. Stood before Freed looking entirely pissed off, though Freed grinned at them.

"You know, since I started doing these little pranks of mine they've all backfired on me in some way. But you know what, I can teleport." He raised his hand to the air. "Bye." He clicked his fingers and dissolved into runes.

**I know this was really short but I couldn't really think of up much to write so this is what came up. Also, do you like how I'm combing the different dares to each other with hints about them, or would you rather me make them i individual. **

**Thanks for reading~ TheLoneHound.**


	7. Arachnophobia play for 'GratsuLover117'

**Arachnophobia play ~ For 'GratsuLover117'**

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Freed was exited; no, that's not the word, ecstatic; no, he was practically giddy with the prospect of what he was about to do. It was mean, yes, but by God the reaction it would get would completely overthrow any small amount of guilt the rune Mage would have over it.

His target for today was the always happy, and always annoying, Natsu Dragoneel. After the Thunder God Tribe had tried to take over the guild, they had been forced into getting closer to team Natsu, the leader's of each team being forced to go on a bonding mission. On his mission with the fire dragon, Freed had found the mage had terrible Arachnophobia; any spider, even the smallest of the small, made him squeal like a baby.

The rune master had recently discovered a branch or runes that cause hallucinations to those it was cast on, and Natsu would be his test subject. He was going to play with Natsu's arachnophobia by making everyone he sees into a strange spider human hybrid. He'd tested it out in himself and it was altogether horrific.

Applying the runes to Natsu had been easy, to get his revenge on Freed for slapping Lucy the fire mage had challenged Freed to a fight, which he accepted. He printed the runic lettering on his back, the text small so he wouldn't notice when showing. Even if he did, getting the runes off would be nearly impossible as he payed levy not to.

The runes hadn't been activated yet, they were stagnantly sitting in his back while he blissfully punched the unsuspecting max in his stomach. He'd soon tire himself out, or perhaps be nocked out, so Freed could make many many spider people plague his mind and nightmares.

The rune mage was shocked at his thoughts, maybe it was a bad idea to turn back into Freed The Dark. Alas, it was too late and he was back to his old ways.

"You've got that look in your eye." Commented Laxus. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to turn everyone in the guild into spider-human hybrids to scare Natsu shitless." Freed flippantly said. "Well, I'll make him hallucinate so that's what everyone looks like. Do you have any objections for me not to listen to?" The rune mages smiled happily at his friend.

"Nah, nah; fuck with the kid all you want, 's long as I'm not involved in it." Laxus sighed. "Forgot what kind of a dick you used to be as a kid." A mumbled comment escaped his lips.

"I wasn't all that bad as a child, my dear leader, I'm much worse as an adult who had a myriad of spells at my disposal to make a persons life living hell." Freed smirked. "I thought you would have liked me to be a bit more devious, it fits with your personality more than you'd think."

A loud laugh comes from the lower floor of the guildhall, where a naked Gray and sweating Elfman stood over an unconscious Natsu, who had a bruised nose. It wasn't long before Gray and elfman, who had teamed up to take out Natsu, to start their own fist fight. It was an annoying habit of many of the male guild-members, but it was helpful for the situation.

Freed tapped his fingers on the table to activate the runes, all that was left was to wait for the fire dragon to wake up and the show to begin.

**|_/)(-Time skip-)(\_|**

Natsu's eyes fluttered open, the world around him in the usual hazy state it was after he awoke form a lost fight. _Damn that fucker, Gray. All he wants in to make him look better than me. Bastard _

He jumped up, no noticeable negative repercussions of his fights available for viewing. After wiping his left hand over both eyes, he stumbled back. He was scared, mor scared than he ever had been. He would have much preferred to fight through an army of the strongest mages than deal with this.

Everyone in fairy tail were part spiders.

"Natsu, are you okay?" Lucy's voice mage his spin his head, only to cower. Lucy face was covered in thing, wiry black hairs, she had many more eyes than she should. Her body had turned into one of a large spider, oval shaped body with eight legs.

"Get away from me!" He shouts, a burst of fire leaving his mouth and early hitting the spider-Lucy in her face. "What did you do to Lucy?"

"Natus, I'm here, what's wrong with you?" Spider-Lucy spoke in a slightly annoyed voice, glaring at the scared fire mage.

"Natsu, why are you acting like that?" Erza, who had the same body as Lucy and everyone else did, spoke, in a strong voice.

"Ah, Erza's even more scary than before." He got glared at. "Don't eat me spider-Erza, Gray tastes better than I do." He pointed at Gray to find out he's become a spider mage as well. _What the fucks going on?_

"Spider-Erza?" Elfman spoke. "Did my manly punch give you brain damage?"

"Everyone's a spider dammit, why are you all spiders." Natsu scrambled to his feet and began to ran to the door, only to run head first into a wall of runes.

As everyone looked over at the rune Mage, he scrunched his face up. He hadn't set that up, so who had. "That was mine." Levy's voice cut through. "We can't have him going out of the guild, what if he acts like he did to Lucy on people who don't have magic; what if he hurts someone?"

As everyone looked back to Natsu, levy glared at Freed who sent an apologetic look back. So the blue haired girl knew he was to blame. She closed a book and stormed over to the stairs to go and chocolate tell freed off. "Your in trouble." Laxus spoke in a teasing voice. He also got glared at.

"Freed." Levy combined a whisper and s shout. "Take them off him now! You know how he gets with spiders, he's petrified of them. Do you have any idea what he's seeing?"

"No, but I can show you." Freed helpfully lifted his sword up to write runes on levy, who looked at him in a way that clearly told him he waning funny. "I can't take the runes off him without touching his back and I hardly think he'd let anyone that close. They're only active for ten minuets. Just watch the show."

"You really are a mean dick sometimes." Levy murmured.

"No." Freed spoke patiently. "I'm a mean dick all the time, you just don't see it. Now, if it makes you less angry at me I can put you and your iron lover in runes that you can't leave until you make out." He smirked. "Then you've got an excuse to do it in public."

"Hey everyone!" Levy shouted, making Freed curse. "Freed was the one who did this, so if you want to kill him or something."

"Oh they already know." Freed spoke. "So,etching weird happens and I'm immediately blamed for it, and correctly so. Now that you know there's nothing fundamentally wrong with him you can have your fun, pretend your a spider and screw with him a bit."

One ice mage didn't need to be told again. He slowly walked, or scuttled as Natsu saw, over to the fire mage and stroked his chin with what he hoped would look like one of his spider legs. The fire Mage froze up immediately, practically shaking.

"Sssooo." Gray spoke in disturbing voice. "You've been very loud, now I'm going to sssshut you up." He pretended to look him up and down. "You'd taste amazingly good served with fisssshhhh."

"Don't eat me." Natsu practically cried. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Freed clocked his fingers and the runes went away; he felt sorry for the poor man. "You." Natsu spat at Gray. "I'm going to kill you."

Freed walked past the fight that had broken out. He walked through the rune barrier levy had set up for Natsu. "Your a bastard." Laxus shouted from the top floor of the guildhall.

"Yes. Yes I am."

**Another shortish chapter for you, I wanted it to be a bit longer but I'm happy with how it turned out. **

**Thanks for reading~ TheLoneHound.**


	8. Hair dying for Gratsulover117 and Yay

**Hair dying bonanza ~ For GratsuLover117 and 'YAY'**

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**(Two people gave very similar request for hair dying pranks, one for team Natsu, Hapy, Carla and Wendy with whatever colours I wish; whereas the other wants Gray and Erza to be died with pink hair, focusing on Erza. I'm going to do both separate and make the second un-cannon in my freed prank universe. So enjoy.)**

**Team Natsu's new shade**

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"He's doing it again." Bickslow mumbled to evergreen. "He's tapping his fingers and glancing at the door every few seconds. He's do something and waiting for it to happen." His babies minced some of his words in a quiet voice, still bobbing.

"Wonder who he's goin' after." Laxus commented, glancing at thee man who smugly drank his green beverage. "He's got that look on 'is face that says it's gonna be a bad one."

Freed had heard his friends comments, but didn't care. The prank he had done today was one of his favourites, like itching powder. He was messing with the colour of people's hair. Freed had chosen his targets to be team Natsu, who seemed to be receiving the bare brunt of his pranking ways. Now, team Natsu wasn't exactly correct, his targets were Natsu, Gray, Erza, Lucy, Wendy, Happy and Carla.

He had carefully though out who would be getting which hair colour, and was happy with his choices. For some, like Wendy and Happy, he had been nice and given them a different shade of their original hair colour. For others, Natsu and Lucy for instance, he had gone to the complete opposite spectrum just to make them suffer.

"Can't be long till he goes after us again, can it?" Bickslow said the words all his teammates didn't want to hear. "I mean, he did say for a while, how much is a while is psycho freed time?" He didn't want to find out though.

Wendy was the first to walk through the doors of fairy tail, her usual darkish blue hair now a bright shade that matched the sky on a particularly nice day in the weather. She had received a few glances, but before anyone could comment on her, the doors slammed open.

"Where is he!?" Erza shouted, her hair a shade of greed; evergreen to be exact. Well, freed was feeling generous, his fried had always wanted to be the queen of fairies, but being her hair would be good enough for now. "Where is that green haired bastard."

"Don't talk down on yourself." Freed spoke calmly. "It does nothing for any form of self esteem you have. I like the new colour of hair, by the way, it's very nice."

"Freed Justine, what on earth have you done to me?" A small, pompous voice spoke from the door. There stood Carla, her usual white, pristine fur was now a brown colour resembling mood. "And what did you do to Wendy, your insolent behaviour has gone too far." Her wings, which were also now brown, spread and she flew to the second floor, only to hit a wall of runes.

"The fuck, why the fuck, just why the fuck." Gray's voice came through the guild. His normally black hair had turned into a white, snow like colour and looked altogether unusual on the tough, shirtless man. "Why white, for fucks sake, whites the worst rucking colour for hair." He was glared at by the three Strauss siblings.

"Freed Justine!" A shrill squeal silenced the guild. "What the hell. Why why why why why why?" Lucy couldn't think of the words to say what she thought when the ran her hands through her hair. Her black hair. Her very black hair. Her jet black hair to be exact. "Why the, just what!"

The enraged girl who now had black hair stormed to the staircase that led to the top floor of fairy tail, only to walk into the rune barrier that Freed had set up.

Heavy footsteps came into contact with the wooden floor, the fonts toes of Natsu. His usual salmon pink hair had tunes into a yellow and gold colour. By his side was happy, who was a very dark blue colour. The cat stopped when he saw Carla, why has she changed her fur?

Natsu stormed up the staircase, the runes that had stopped everyone else having no affect on him. He grabbed freed by the scruff of his collar, glaring at him. "You made me look like that damn ass playboy." He growled. "So I'm gonna make your face black and blue."

"Now now, my cute little masochist, no need for violence." The rune Mage grinned. "If you really wanted to punish me then I'd recommend thing me to your bed naked and doing as you wish to me. Just a suggestion though."

"I. Am Not. A masochist!" Natsu seethed with clenched teeth.

"Keep telling you that, cutie." Freed patted his head like a dog. "Do you like your new hairstyle, I was sure you would like it. I spent a large amount of time to choose it, and you'd be surprised how difficult it is to make two different shades of hair dye separate in that same bottle of shampoo."

"How the fuck did you get my shampoo!" Natsu growled.

"He uses shampoo?" Erza mumbled to Gray, who nodded.

"Yeah he uses shampoo, it's a load of crap but he still uses it." Gray commented, still angry at Freed for making his hair white like _that bastard lyon. _

"How do I know you use shampoo," Freed thought for a moment, "that's not important. Now, as for the problem with your hair colours. They will last 1 month, so the end of February; don't try to wash it out, it won't work. There's no way you can get it out, no spells, not other dye to overthrow it, nothing."

"You..." Erza, Natsu, Gray and Lucy. "You bastard.

**Making Natsu Senpai notice**

**\_/|I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I|\_/ **

Freed always hated the name, it was vain. Team _Natsu... _Their teamdidn't have an actual leader, and if they did the rune Mage knew that Erza wouldn't let Natsu of all people be it. However, with the team name focusing of said fire Mage came an opportunity to make the team regret it.

Well, team wasn't accurate as such, only Gray and Erza would be on the receiving end of this particular prank; despite being thought of as an asshole by the entire guild, Freed knew that Lucy had been almost singled out by his pranks of late and he felt sorry for her, so she was being left out of this.

Freed was particularly proud of his reasoning for this prank. As the team was named after Natsu, the rune user thought it would be fun to play on the implied respect of the team name. Natsu would be, for the purpose of this pranks, Gray and Erza's Senpai; they want to be noticed. Now, a clićhe teenage girl would do a lot of things to make their Senpai notice them, and today they would die their hair the same colour.

Freed had actually gone to Natsu himself for this prank, which was difficult as he received a punch to the jaw for his previous comments about his masochism; Freed still stood by that. After explaining his idea all animosity between the two men was gone, Natsu laughing at the idea and Freed chuckling about the reaction.

He had made it so the dye was a mirror image of Natsus own salmon pink colours. Deploying the dye to Gray's home was simple. As a result of his actions with trying to take over the guild he had to so some chores, one being tasked with Gray's weekly shopping. Freed knew of Grays shampoo, brought a bottle of it, emptied it and placed the dye into it. He snuck into the ice mage's home when Natsu had purposely started a fight with him and replaced the bottles.

Erza, though, was rather difficult. He knew little about her so went to Lucy for help, who was hesitant at first but when he gave his word that he wouldn't include her in this prank she was glad to help. According to the blonde maintaining her shade of red to a healthy standard was difficult to do with regular products so she went to a premium hair salon every weekend.

Her hairdresser was an awkward woman. Young, maybe twenty five, with long blonde hair. He tried to get the hairdresser to dye Erza's hair, even bribing her with a large amount. In the end of their conversation the hairdresser had extorted a shopping trip payed fully by Freed and a date. It was worth it though, the woman was actually quiet nice though no other dates were planned.

Due to the preplanned nature of Erza's hair visits, it was nearly impossible to make Gray and Erza have the pink hair Natus Senpai had on the sam day; unless freed snuck back into Gray's home but that was an unnecessary risk. Erza would just have to wait for Natsu's attention a few more days that Gray.

Thursday was the day that Gray was dyed. His reaction was comical as he walked in, but when Natsu began to tease him before he could get to Freed it was hilarious.

"Damn Gray, you really wanted to look like me huh?" Natsu chuckled at Gray's hair, as did the rest of the guild with his comment. "Maybe it's because you _loooovvvvveeee_ me."

"Fuck off, Bastard." Gray pushed Natsu away, who was making kissy faces at him with happy chanting 'He loves you' behind his head. "Freed fucking did this and you know it." He growled.

"Nah, you just wanted my attention." Natus rapped an arm around Gray's shoulders. "You want your Senpai to notice you. I notice you plenty enough already, but it's cute your trying." Freed noted how he and Natsu were actually similar in how they teased their victims, maybe he would team up with the dragon slayer again.

Erza was pissed. Pissed was an understatement. Erza was super fucking pissed. She was so fucking pissed that the entire guild froze minuets before she even got there. She was in her usual armour, though twenty or so swords followed her. Natsu was going to tease her the same way her teased Gray, but thought better of it.

The sword user stormed wordlessly to Freed, who was regretting not putting up a barrier to stop her. "Give me one good reason why I should mash you up with all the swords I have right now; Justine."

"I'll give you three. One, if you didn't want this to happen then you shouldn't have called your team after Natsu. Two, I thought you fought to stop people killing, wouldn't it be hypocritical for you to wield the blade in a murder yourself. Three, there's many young people here, even a child under the age of five, imagine the mental trauma seeing me killed would cause later in life." Freed smirked.

"Then I'll just break all the bones in your body and beat you into an inch of your life." Erza's swords slammed into Freed body, making everyone gasp. However freed chuckled.

"What, do you think I'm idiotic enough to go to a place where you can find me after pissing you off." Freed laughed further. "Give me some credit please. The dye will wash out easily, the blend's weak. I'll be on a mission for a few days while you calm down. Bye."

And with that, the sword riddled Freed disappeared in a poof of black, green and purple smoke.

**Sorry this took so long, I've had a lot of exams over the past week and they've been screwing up my writing time so this was written in small segments between revision, not in one long session like I normally would. I've got one or two more exams to do, but by next week i'll be fine and back. Thanks for your patients.**

**Thelonehound~**


	9. Painting fish for paladude234 and momo

**Painting the fishy **

**\_/|I~~~~~~~I|\_/ **

**(Hi, so I'm going to start doing more than one dare per chapter like I did with the hair dying ones. The reason for this is that some of the dares I get asked to write feel to short and I'll either have too short chapter or just make it long and filled with pointless twaddle.)**

**Recreating the cake for 'Paladude234**

**\_/|I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I|\_/ **

Freed watched as Team Natsu walked into the guildhall of fairy tail, Natsu and Gray having one of their childish fights, Lucy trying to stop them from getting more violent, and Erza walked towards the bar on a dazed state. They'd come back from one of their missions and it seemed to have taken their toll on Erza. Good.

Whenever Erza was in this state only one thing could snap her out of it, strawberry cheesecake. He'd bribed Mirajane with something he was too proud to admit to give Erza one special cheesecake. He'd trapped it so, on his command, it would change into something that he knew she wasn't a large fan of. His fired winged fish and salad.

As predicted, Erza walked towards Mirajane without saying a word; ignoring Lucy when she whined about the fist fight that broke out between the two men on the team. She ordered the cake with one word, sitting on one of the bar stools as she did so. Mirajane gave her the enchanted cake with her usual smile; Freed would have to compliment her on her acting skills, she was remarkably good.

Erza, without looking down at her cake, shoved the fork into the tip of the cake slice and brought it to her mouth. As expected, her eyes went from the tired dazed state to the start eyed dazed state. Freed grinned, now she'd eat the cake without looking at it.

As he clicked his fingers Laxus rolled his eyes. He always clicked his fingers to active a rune in his pranks. He knew the target wasn't him, or Freed was glancing over the banister that overlooked the ground floor of fairy tail. He almost felt sorry for who'd be receiving the rune Mages, but then he remembers how annoying they all could be and the guilt went away.

Erza placed her fork down to her plate again, not paying attention to how it took more effort to cut through than it had before. She took what she thought was cheesecake to her mouth, but into it and swallowed. Upon tasting the winged fish her face went green.

"What the hell is that?" She demanded through her hands which were covering her mouth. She looked down and saw what she had eaten in disgust. "Why is, what the, Freed!" She shouted, swinging her face to Freed and Laxus direction.

Freed smirked and activated his teleportation spell, only to have it fail. Levy spoke up, smiling. "I put up a spell to stop you teleporting away. Sorry freed."

"You're clearly not sorry." Freed said as Erza stomped up the staircase with a pissed look on her slightly green face. She requipped into one of her set of armours, making freed looks slightly scared. "Well damn, I suppose I shall have to do this.

Freed unsheathed his sword and jumped over the banister, landing on the stage area of fairy tail. He glared at anyone who tried to stop him going away. As he walked slowly to the door, running being far too undignified, he was confronted with another fifty swords.

"You've got far too far, Freed."

"Nice use of the word far, but I'm disappointed with you as a whole. I thought you had a sense of honour. Figs hint one man with one sword with a practical army of swords that do as you say due to a mental link. Slightly unfair and dishonourable, don't you think?"

"You shouldn't anger me, freed Justine." Erza said as she changed to her normal attire and pulled out her own sword. "You'll regret it very soon."

"And you shouldn't let a wordsmith talk to you, a fatal mistake. Dark Ecriture: Wings." After sprouting wings he flew out of the guild which had no swords blocking it, winking at Erza as he left.

"That green haired bastard." Erza swore, then stopped for a second. "His runes can't do that without preparation before, how did he do that?" As she spoke she slowly turned to her old rival. "Why did you help him, Mirajane?"

"I couldn't help it." Mira giggled guiltily. "He promised me he'd do a photoshoot for Sorcerer Magazine, they need some new male models and Freed said he'd be happy doing some naked shoots."

**A colourful revenge for 'momo guest'**

**\_/|I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I|\_/ **

Team Natsu sat around one of their tables, all having serious faces. They were sick of it, or him to be exact. It seems that freed was targeting them with his pranks and they were bored of it. So they were going to get their revenge, but how?

"Got it." Natsu slammed his fist in the table, standing up. "We make it so he can't fight anyone but me." The green haired nerd couldn't touch the great and mighty salamander, and who could live without fighting. The perfect punishment.

"No, he'd be fine with that." Erza sighed. "We need something that'll humiliate him like he's done to us. But I'm not sure what, maybe we can ask Mirajane or something. No, they work together, she'd tell him about everything. It needs to be just us five."

"What about covering him in fish."Hapy suggested, "Like, old, rotten fish that smell bad and fast bad."

"Nah, that'll be hard to do. But it's getting better, that would embarrass him in some way, but something that's cheep and easy." Silence filled the table for a few minuets, all of them racking their brains for some way to emasculate their friend.

"I've got it." Lucy shouted. "This is gonna be amazing."

Freed walked from the train station in silence, Laxus had been kind and only sent him on an S-class mission alone. It wasn't worth of being an S-class, but freed did struggle with the fact he wasn't actually supposed to be on this mission and it was against the rules. The train ride back was hell, full of busy and sweaty people who had no sense of spacial awareness.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked his door, though his runes would have sufficed in keeping most people out it was possible another word mage or someone who knew runes would want to rob him. As he stepped over the threshold of the door he heard the sound of clattering from above. Curios, he looked up and got a face full of paint the same colour of his hair.

"What the hell?" He curved after whiling the paint off his face. He let out a pained whine when he saw the stains on his pristine white carpet, that wouldn't be coming out any time soon. After shrugging off his coat he turned around to see if the culprits of this prank had watched their work, but he was confronted with a wall of runes written in English.

"Mr Justine. It has come to our attention that you are cruelty targeting innocent members of your guild with childish pranks. We at the Revenge Organisation are not happy with this, therefore you shall be punished. We have set up runes that even you can't rewrite. To escape your own home you must follow our instructions without question. Each of them shall end with you being punished in a way you were upon entering." Freed read aloud, scoffing at the part when they said he couldn't rewrite runes. He was the best rune Mage in Fiore and could do anything with runes.

"P.s, they, Natsu are doing this and Lucy made me. Sorry. Levy." He read again, chuckling at how she needed to make sure he knew he wasn't involved. He'd make sure she knew he didn't hold anything against her, after poring a small pot of paint over her perhaps.

"Very well, I'll play your little game. But I need you to know something, if I wanted to get out of this I could." He placed his finger on the wall of runes and channeled a small amount of energy into it. The text now said 'I know each and every one of you, revenge organisation and after this is done I shall bring hell to you all.'

"What do I do first then?" Freed asked, waiting patiently as he turned to look at his hallway, scowling at the stain on the carpet. Another wall of writing appeared in front of him telling him to remove his coat, which he already had, and go into his living room. It also explained how each room had a form of punishment related to it.

When he entered the living room he was confronted with a horrific sight. All of his books were open on random pages, a child's pool of some strange, gloopy, bubbling liquid hanging precariously above it. His heartbeat quickened slightly, those poor innocent text that appeared in front of him told him the only way to save his books was to replace himself in their position. The books must be put in alphabetical order in the shelves under five minuets and he must be on his knees under the pool before the time was up. If he wasn't then all his books would burn up and he would be locked in the room for a week.

Without warning a large digital timer appeared on the wall of runes. Eyes wide, Freed moved the pile of books from under the children's pool. Good, they were safe from that danger. He closed them all and looked at the titles. Ordering them in alphabetical order of the first letter was easy and only took one minuet, giving him three and a half minuets left. However it wouldn't be that easy, Freed was sure, so he also put the piles so the seconds letters, and in some case third letters, were in alphabetical order. Once done, he had one minuet to place the books on his shelf.

He heard a ten second countdown begin as he finished placing the books on the shelf. "Three." The final book was placed. "Two." Freed slid under the pool. "One." He closed his eyes.

The small pool of snot like liquid disappeared at once. The green bubbling stuff was left in the air, only for a few seconds. It was soon dumped on Freed's head, who froze as the freezing liquid covered his head and shoulders, a small part of it going down his shirt and backing his back arch as it trickled down.

"Congratulations, you passed task one, three more to go." Freed frowned as he read the new wall of text, he had more than four rooms in his house. "Now you've got such a messy shirt on there's no point in having it, so take it off and leave it in the snot pile. Go to the kitchen for further instructions."

Freed sighed, he had the slightest feeling that by the time this challenge was over he would be naked. He unbuttoned his white shirt and whipped the drop of slime that was on his back off before dropping the shirt it the pool of slime that had formed around him. He stood up, chest bare and face covered in slime, and walked to the kitchen.

"Task two: A tasty snack." Freed read aloud with a sigh. "You're going to have to make a nice snack to eat, you must be hungry. You have five cupboards, each with an ingredient in it. Open them and get them out, make the snack with them and eat up."

Freed sighed. Five of his cupboards had a small note on it with a number, which told him which to open and in what order. He walked to the first cupboard and opened it. Upon it being opened he was confronted wot a face full of flour and baking soda. After coughing and wafting the White smoke away, freed saw two slices of bread. So this is how it was going to work, each cupboard was trapped. He took the slices of bread from the cupboard and placed them on the dining table.

The second cupboard confronted him with a face full of raspberry jam which also splattered itself over his chest. A small jar of the same jam was at the back of the cupboard which joined the bread in the table. The third cupboard somehow made a jug of gravy upturn over his head and slide down his ruined hair. He was rewarded with a similar jug if gravy at the back of the cupboard. The fourth made a packet of instant custard explode in the same way the jam did, covering his whole torso in the yellow liquid. The jug if custard soon found its way to the table, the thought of it combined with the other ingredients made freed gag. The fifth and final cupboard was almaot a let down; no form of trap occurred just a pot of chicken was seen. Freed laughed at the small note about not being able to think about a chicken trap.

Freed looked down at the five foods in disbelief. He would, presumably, have to make a sandwich out of them. Freed sighed, getting a knife and spreading the jam over the bread. He was thankful all the food was in date, he would refuse otherwise. The small chunks of cold chicken were placed on the jammed bread, then he emptied the custard and gravy jugs were emptied on the bread. Freed sighed, it looked truly horrid. He took his fist bite and gagged. After half an hour of eating with gagging and coughing fits it was done.

"Well done, Mr Justine. You have completed the second task, meaning you are allowed to have a drink of water." Freed did so before continuing. "Now, after all that food your trousers might be feeling a bit tight, take them off and go to your bedroom for your next task." With a sigh, freed unbuckled his belt and let his trousers stop to the floor, walking out of them and leaving him in a tight pair of brown boxers.

He walked to his bedroom and furrowed his eyebrows, what he was presented was confusing. Four buckets of slime that were placed by his bed on the floor. One was red, one was blue, one was green and one was yellow. They all bubbled and stank. As expected, a wall of text rose up.

"Task three, time to get a new outfit on. In each of the buckets is a piece of clothing you'll be putting on. You'll be fishing it out with your feet. Do it in this order: Blue, yellow, green, red. You'll get some boxers first so you should take the ones off your wearing now." The text told him freed huffed as he took of what remained of his clothing.

He sat on his bed, naked and covered in slime, before the blue bucket. With no hesitation he placed his feet in the slime and cursed himself for having this damn foot fetish which told his penis to wake up and say hello. He fished out the boxers with his feet and growled; they were obviously too small and were covered in the blue slime. As he put them on he whined, the cold and disgusting feeling in his AREA OF MAN was horrible.

The yellow bucket gave him a pair of dress pants filled with yellow slime; the green bucket gave him a once white dress shirt covered in a snot like liquid; the red bucket gave him a long, black tailcoat. He would have looked sexy if he wasn't covered head to toe in slime.

"Well done Mr Justine, time for your final task in the bathroom. You shall be having a cold shower, but I fear a small amount of slime would have gotten into the pipes so you'll have to wait for it to turn into water. We wouldn't want all that slime to go to waste thought, would we? You'll have to shower under that for a while. Strip off your dashing clothes and have a shower."

Freed walked to his bathroom after removing his clothes. He turned his shower on cold, knowing he'd most likely be punished if he didn't. Without thinking he climbed under it and let the pink and brown slime cover his naked body. Freed didn't bother to squirm, shake or sigh; he just wanted the cold water to hit his body and get rid of the horrible slime that covered his body. Soon it did and freed sighed in relief. He washed his body without missing an inch of his skin, his hair being covered in shampoo and conditioner separately three times. While washing a wall of text was shown.

"Well done, Mr Justine. Thank you for playing out game and I hope tone seen the error of your ways. However, your problem isn't over yet. The entirety of your strife has been filmed and sent to sorcerer magazine as you read. Next time don't prank those under our protection, Mr Justine. The revenge organisation."

"Well shit." Freed laughed, he could do nothing else. He decided that he'd stop pranking Team Natsu for now, but he'd get them back. He'd get them back bad. He might even get his own revenge organisation to help him. For now though, he'd get rid of his rules on not pranking his teammates. The longer he waited the more twisted his ideas of revenge on team Natsu would be, and that was fine.

**Hello guys, sorry this took so long. I've no excuses really, but I just was trying too hard to make short dares long and they all ended up badly. I'm very happy with how the revenge idea came out. So yes, the Riajinshuu are in the firing line and Team Natsu are out. So send Riajinshuu dares in and try not to send any for team Natsu until I make Freed get his revenge, I've already got some bad ideas for what he's going to do. Thanks for reading.**

**TheLoneHound~**


	10. Short note

**Quick note**

**Hey guys, I'm going to put this on hiatus for a bit. For some reason these short stories have become tedious to write. I think it's because I'm either forcing them out or writing around school work and my personal life and everything's coming out crap, or at least in my opinion. **

**It should be coming back later in the month, possibly at the start of April but I guarantee it will come back eventually. Please continue to leave your requests if you have any.**

**Thanks**

**TheLoneHound~ **


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